You look good with your hair long


CN: dysphoria

long hair in dark waves, suffocating, thick,
noosed curl, tightly knotted,
curtaining my disgruntled face;
in these old photos that you praise,
I’m not coyly blushing
beneath those chains

I become hair
when it’s long
and winds
over breasts
around hips
down thighs

under binary’s thumbs too long:
at eighteen, in one swift cis-section,
two feet of needle-pointed protein

but my sweet relief in shaved nape of neck
is brief; you find feminine castration
not a haircut but a hysterectomy
as your eyes always downcast
to a future I never asked for
between a zone that isn’t yours
to touch

my hair grows back and these scissor snips only
temporarily stifle threat of photographs
of the girl whose long hair you miss

Words by Cyn Zavala

Cyn Zavala is a mixed latinx genderqueer English literature doctoral student in Eastern Washington. They live with their partner and cat in a town with chilly winters and dry summer.


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